Universe Today
"Grandpa, do you remember the Grand Tour, when spacecraft used gravity assist to visit other worlds?" "I sure do. Gravity assist. Those were the days. Swooping so close to Jupiter, you could feel the radiation killing your hair follicles. Only to be sling-shotted on to the next planet." "But why didn't you just use a quantum drive to bend space time and appear at your destination?" "Quantum drives! Those things ain't natural. And neither is bending space-time. Give me a good old-fashioned chemical rocket any time." "Oh Grandpa."
"Grandpa, what was Mars like in the Early Days?" "You mean before it was terraformed? Very tough times." "Because conditions were so difficult? And food was hard to grow?" "No. Because of the protesters." "Protesters? On Mars?" "Yup. Every time we found a good spot for a Bacterial Production Facility (BPF), it seemed like there was an expired old rover in the way. The protesters didn't think we should move 'em. Part of our heritage." "So what did you do Grandpa?" "We created a network of computers that everybody would stare at all day. After that, nobody noticed what we did anymore." "Oh Grandpa."
"Grandpa, did you ever visit Enceladus?" "I sure did. A beautiful, haunting place." "Was it scary? With all of the ice geysers erupting unpredictably?" "On no. I always knew when one was going to erupt." "What? How did you know?" "My arthritis would flare up." "Oh Grandpa."
