However, my 23 yr old brother died two months ago, and I've heard of star naming before. My preconceived notion was that I actually could name a star for him and it would be named after him forever. Maybe that's naive, but seeing as how there are plenty of stars to go around, it seemed feasible. At each site I checked the FAQs . . . since I found the competing websites fishy. They do admit that their star names aren't officially recognized, but they gloss over that bit really quickly by mentioning that they'll be recorded in their registries. Yeah, I'd have to agree that's a scam!

I am, of course, disappointed, but I'm very glad to not have wasted my money on a meaningless memorial.

So big thanks to the author and to the many people who provided interesting comments!

I'd have to agree with those that think it's much worse than harmless fun. It is misleading, profiteering (the first site I found started at over $100 for one star), and opportunistic. Almost everyone who loses a loved one will search for some way to immortalize their lost relative or friend, and I think it's downright amoral to take advantage of grief.

Of course, I know some of the star naming is aimed at helping parents teach their kids about astronomy, and some may view it as simply a unique gift. But where is that money going? Once again, my preconceived notion was that this benefited the scientific community in some way. In contrast, if you "adopt" an animal through a zoo or aquarium, you know where the money is going.

Sorry for the rant! I'm tossing back and forth between the bargaining and anger phases of grief! Thanks again!

We pay money — sometimes a lot of money — for pleasures and gestures that are ephemeral. That fine meal at the restaurant tonight will leave you tomorrow, and you'll flush it without regret or irony. The bouquet of flowers will wilt and be unceremoniously dumped. You could have seen the game better on television than from the upper reaches of a vast stadium. You pay money to see the stage magicians, knowing that they are not only taking money from you to lie to you, but will be doing their best to make you lie to yourself. The street's been called Avenue of the Americas since before I was born, but New Yorkers haven't called it anything but Sixth Avenue, no matter what its formal catalogue name is.

The main transaction here occurs long before the financial one. It's about love, or even just a moment's entertainment, but above all it's about connectedness. You can't really buy that connection. The buying of the token may fix that moment in time (like saying "this is where the star was located at that moment"), but the real value is in the memory. The chart and certificate are just a symbol of that love.

Antoine de Saint Exupéry said it well in The Little Prince: "Here is my secret. It is very simple: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

There will be star parties, observatories, and the quiet walking in the snow when just the two of you are looking at Orion's Belt , that random collection of visible stars that we order into meaningful story and memory and connectedness.

It's not a matter of having to choose between cold hard science, and human connections. We can hold them both at the same time, embrace paradox if we need to, honoring both the love we have for the brilliant far-away lights in the sky, and our love for those who are near, or those who are now just as unattainably far from our touch as the furthest stars..

Ironically, Stuart's angry response brought forth a banner ad on the website that said "This Mother's Day, Give Mom a Tiger!" Well-meaning non-profits are just as busy as star registrars trying to persuade you that the dollars you give will magically turn into a meal for a starving child rather than a ream of paper for the office copier.

Yael, thanks for your posting of the Lovecraft perspective.

I wouldn't put it past the Romans to annoy the Egyptians this way and make money doing it.

The world has brought the laurel-leaves to crown
The star-discoverer's name with high renown;
Accept the flower of love we lay with these
For influence sweeter than the Pleiades!"

–Henry Van Dyke

Love the post above raising the question of whether or not one would "own" a star that had long since "died" … only the light it emitted millions of years before shucking off its mortal coil (or the celestial equivalent thereof) is still just reaching our shores now ….

And at the risk of exposing lack of astronomical sophistication … are the coordinates Man assigns to a given star eternal? If Laurie Hoffman's descendants 5000 times removed were to head to "her" star for a weekend getaway, will it be where it was way back in the mists of 21st century time?